Gasoline and vasoline

[twicketface]

Eric triumphed in tennis again, beating me 6-4. When my serve is right on, he can't return it. Sadly, this only happened about 5 times last night. Feels good to get out and run around - hope we can make it a weekly occurance.

I'm buying gas today, because I'm a terrorist.

Also, how come no one told me about Quorn before? That faux chicken patty I had last night was the best I've ever had!

Lately I've been thinking about how people start dating. Marie and I met and became friends while she was engaged. Had she been single, I wonder if we would've ended up together - something about her being taken made it easier to just be myself. To those of you who are currently in a relationship, were you single when you met the person or involved with someone else? How do you think it affected your new relationship?

Comments

[drainbead.livejournal.com]

Single when we met, but I'd just taken a vow of celibacy after a string of really, really bad issues for me. And he was a virgin. So that made things easy for about three weeks, and that's about when we both realized that both of those things were going to change. We were never serious or exclusive back then, although we fooled around for probably seven months or so before we both mutually went our separate ways. He was, as you might imagine, pretty socially immature back then and very, very afraid of commitment, and I was too cynical and bitter from a bunch of really, really bad shit happening to me in the previous two years or so. It just wasn't the right time.

We stayed in touch for years, but only really became good friends again when I was engaged. And you're right, it was a lot easier to just talk when the sex thing wasn't an issue, although about a year later it became an issue, and that's right about when I realized that I had to get away from my ex (who was steadily becoming more and more of a dick as time went on). Patrick provided me with a lot of moral support around that time--he was my only friend in town who never really knew Brian, so that helped--there was no issue of him taking sides. The weekend that Brian moved out, Patrick offered to let me stay at his apartment so I could get work done and stay away from the constant drama. From that point on, I pretty much never left, although it was months before I saw it as anything other than friends with benefits. Once I did, though, it was all over. That weekend I stayed with him was the first week of February of 2003. By May we were serious, by August he asked me to move in with him, and in December I asked him to marry me. And thus, a seven-year friendship culminated in two incredibly thick-headed people finally realizing that they were meant for one another all along--we just had a lot of growing up to do before it happened.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

Awesome - I enjoy hearing about stories like these.

How are the wedding plans coming along?

[drainbead.livejournal.com]

Nicely. I go in for another fitting on the dress next week, we're waiting on the ring guy to give us a price quote.

[mysti.livejournal.com]

You never told me what you wanted to do with me. It hurt my heart. *sob*

[htothem.livejournal.com]

Don and I first met in 2001 at an indie/new wave dance night called Panic at a club in D.C. I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 3.5 years, and it would take another 1.5 years for the break-up to stick. He came up to me and asked what my tattoo said (ninja). I usually hate when guys talk to me at clubs, but he was wearing a Birdhouse shirt. We started talking about skateboarding and video games and gadgets, which lead to me mentioning I worked at the Consumer Electronics Association (which is important later). He is the first person I’ve ever met in a club that didn’t skeeze me out. However, he didn’t ask for my phone number, so I pretty much forgot about him. (I found out later, he was dating someone at the time.)

Flash forward to June 2004. I get an e-mail on Friendster from this guy with the subject line “We met at Panic a long time ago.” Turns out that after that night, Don googled Helen Marie and Consumer Electronics Association and got my full name. We started e-mailing and within a week, I knew that I had to dump the tool I was dating for the possibility of going out with Don. I had my traveling job at the time, but we decided to meet up on the first day of my summer break. Within the third day of my summer break, I knew that I wanted to spend as much time with this person as possible. I’ve never met someone who I felt so comfortable with so fast. I’m a weird cookie and I was instantly able to relax and let the weird show around him. I ended up basically living with him for the rest of my 2 week break.

Since, I was traveling all the time (I didn’t have a home or anything and lived in hotels in various locations across the country), we dated long distance for about 5ish months. We managed to see each other every 2-3 weeks and decided to move in together pretty quickly. In December, when it became clear that my health issues couldn’t be resolved while traveling, I moved in. And that’s where we are today.

[htothem.livejournal.com]

I forgot to answer your questions. I was not single, but after the break-up that didn't stick, I was just flitting in and out of relationships I wasn't serious about. When I met Don, I felt like we'd been best friends for ages, so I don't think it would have mattered if we'd been friends first.

However, I think that the years in between when we met and when we got together were very important. I was still mired in the emotional warzone of my break-up and he was stuck in a relationship he wasn't happy with. Without the intervening years, I don't think we would have had half the chance we have now.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

Thank you for sharing - very interesting. Sometimes I think the time apart is what more people need. I've got many friends who would rather light themselves on fire than spend more than a day being single. Everyone's got shit to sort out and I get cranky when they don't realize sometimes it's better to sort it out themselves.

[pooplord.livejournal.com]

It's been a month now since my nearly five-year relationship ended, but I still wanted to post here. I met Garth while I was seeing someone else (who was actually an acquaintance of said guy). I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I didn't like my beau at the time and had cheated on him and other awful things like that, and after randomly meeting up with or hanging out with him several times over the course of a year or so, we suddenly started spending a lot more time together in June 1999. I knew at this point that I was more attracted to him and seemingly more compatible, and that I had to break it off with the old guy. So Garth and I dated two hours away from each other while he had another year in school and I had another 1.5 years, and it worked out pretty well (i.e. I didn't cheat like I did on the last guy when I was in the same situation). We moved in together immediately after I graduated college, which in retrospect seems like a mistake now, and is one of the main reasons why I recently felt compelled to move out.

To bring this back to your point, I think I shouldn't have jumped from one relationship right into another, but I just didn't/don't have any idea how to date more than one person at the same time. So now I find myself almost 24 and single for the first time in seven or eight years, having given up something that was pretty damn good overall just for a chance at the unknown.

I have no idea what it would've been like if I were single at the time I met him. Maybe I wouldn't have had doubts and itches about never having been single in my adult life, and we would still be together. Maybe we never even would have gotten together because I wouldn't have been looking for someone new to cling to. Or would I?

[htothem.livejournal.com]

I think that living on my own, and being single after college was one of the greatest things that ever happened to me. I learned a self-reliance and independence that's invaluable. I had no idea how much I was capable of until I got rid of all of the crutches I'd built up. It was scary and sometimes very unpleasant to go through, but I'm much stronger person because of it.

[pooplord.livejournal.com]

I still wanna talk to you more about that old relationship of yours. Hit me up via e-mail, will ya?

[htothem.livejournal.com]

I don’t think I have your e-mail address. Shoot me one…hmgraves@hotmail.com Also, for the record, my ex’s name was Dan. You can imagine all of the hilarious confusion that’s caused.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

It's interesting, how different we are when we're single and when we're committed. I just hate the stigma that says if you're single, you should feel worthless. I think that's why there are so many people in bad relationships instead of just being by themselves.

[hexkitten.livejournal.com]

I've heard of Quorn, but haven't found it up here. I'm loathe to suggest things that I haven't tried.

On that note, does your grocer carry Veggie Patch products? Their fake chicken patties (and nugs) are yummy. If you have a Trader Joe's near you, I really miss their fake meatballs.

Dave and I met while both of us were single. Of course, living in different countries, we had only IM and e-mail to get to know each other. In retrospect, I think it's easier when you don't have to face a person and misinterprete their facial expressions and whatnot.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

No Trader Joe's here - but I hear it's praises being sung all the time on LJ. I'll have to check into Veggie Patch - we usually get Gardenburger or Amy's.

It's funny - Marie and I spent a ton of time via email and IM, despite living in the same dorm. It was a good mix on in-person time and semi-distanced time.

[htothem.livejournal.com]

Those fake meatballs are so good. I had them last night.