I'm saying it's okay to come home

[twicketface]

I feel bad that it took me this long to figure things out, but it is a universal truth.

Married people aren't very interesting.

Single people always have the best stories. Tawdry tales of staying out all night, flirting with new members of the opposite sex on a regular basis, cooking all meals using only a pizza oven - married people can't compete. Do you know what I did last night? I got home, made dinner, watched some television, dorked around on the internet and was in bed by 8:20. I'm not kidding. "Mr. Interesting? No, he lives next door. Mr. Boring here, nice to meet you. Now either come in or leave, you're letting the heat out!"

This is not to say I would prefer being single. I was single for almost 50 years and love being married. But on the off chance I get invited to a party or socialize with a group of people I don't know that well, I want someone else to be telling the stories. Because while shoveling the driveway and putting the cat toys away are vital ingredients to a good life, they don't hold the attention of anyone.

---

Apparently, I made a mistake ordering chai tea this morning. There is a coffee house (now that's a stupid title. Who lives there?) next door and I indulge once every few months. Not only did I order a "medium" (the clerk, seething with rage, corrected me while repeating back my order as a "tall" vanilla chai) but I didn't specify to go easy on the NINE HUNDRED AND FUCKING EIGHTY DEGREE WATER. I let the tea sit for 15 minutes before taking a sip and my tongue now has the appearance (and feel) of an exploded bratwurst, left too long in the microwave. Woe is me.

---

I work closely with one of the partners at work. Let's call him Bruce, because that's his name. Bruce is a nice guy. He did most of the recruiting work before I was hired, so I ask him lots of questions. Anyway, he has a weird habit. When he walks into my office to talk to me about something, he'll always pick up something either from my inbox or my desk and look at it. He'll keep talking when he does this, so maybe he's doing it without realizing it. I don't think he's snooping around, but it's disconcerting just the same. I thought about doing the same thing to him one time, but then I chickened out.

Comments

[blueangeldanie.livejournal.com]

ok whoa whoa whoa...
do you read my journal??? I am single. My life is so boring I don't want to read about it. The highlight of my life is latch hooking a football rug while eating mac and cheese ALONE!! at least you have someone to be boring with. I think married life would have to be so much better. At least there is someone there. You know, besides the tv. I was home and in pajamas by 9. Complaining that if i went to bed to early I would wake up at 5. Single life has it's perks don't get me wrong but over all, its pretty dull. And confusing. Very confusing. You never have to say to yourself... do you think my wife likes me? do you think i should tell her I like her? Do you think if i sleep with her she'll call in the moring? does she only like me for my boobs... wait that was a weird one but you know what I am saying. Be happy that your life is boring. And that you have someone to be boring with. It's esentially what every single person wants. To be bored with someone else for the rest of thier lives


Now on to important stuff. what is this recruiting you speak of? Get me a job so I can get out of this horrible place and live in quiet in wisconsin.

[hexkitten.livejournal.com]

Don't knock the mac and cheese, man. That stuff is fun in a box!

[blueangeldanie.livejournal.com]

wasn't knocking it, it was the nasty pre made cheesey type. you know with almost real liquid cheese instead of powder. It sucked.

[hexkitten.livejournal.com]

Kraft or Velveeta? Kraft is kind of nasty, but Velveeta...mmm...

[blueangeldanie.livejournal.com]

kraft, it was on sale 2 for $4 I couldn't pass that up

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

I think that's one area that marriages fail - thinking that since they exchanged vows they never need to worry about the other person. On a regular basis, I fret over whether I'm living up to the expectations of Marie. "Why did I just say that?" "Does she think my cooking sucks?" "If I keep farting in bed, are we through?" and so on. I don't obsess about it, but it's certainly on my mind.

I work at an accounting firm - what sort of job are you looking for?

[blueangeldanie.livejournal.com]

oddly enough. I am a staff accountant. I call it glorified bookkeeper. I just want to get out of ny for a while. I figure if i can't find an office job I'll go back to waitressing.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

Have you ever lived in WI? Because you weren't too far off with the -200 temperatures!!

[blueangeldanie.livejournal.com]

no but I visited. Trust me when I say this, I was there for 4 days and it was the best four days of my life. I have never been anywhere, where I feel more at home. Which is werid because for the past 6 years I did everthing in my power to have my life the way it is now. And live where I live now. Now that I am here I want to be there.

[ilovecalifornia.livejournal.com]

You are the second person this week from my friend's list to talk of this vanilla chai. I am very curious now.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

It's quite good. I'm not a coffee drinker and enjoy regular tea. Chai is smoother, more creamy than regular tea.

What are you waiting for? Go get some!!

[hexkitten.livejournal.com]

Is it that single people have more interesting stories, or that we're worried about sounding like the joined-at-the-hip married couple? "Oh, and then D did this..." and "D said..."

Congratulations on your restraint at the coffeehouse. I would have egged the guy on. "No, I don't want a tall. I want a medium - like that little dilly."

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

Could be. Individual stories turn into couple stories. "We were at the grocery store when..." and so forth. We try to maintain separate interests and such, but I think it's just inevitable.

Exactly. It may be 'tall' in California, but we're in Wisconsin, damnit. It's medium!

[crafting-change.livejournal.com]

picking up stuff off of your desk is insanely rude.

*

burning your tongue is no fun. The worst is cheese, or soy cheese though, because it melds to your tongues surface. not that I know from experience.

*

I think single folks make shit up. married folks should repay in kind.
'dude... me and the wife had sex on the back porch in front of the neighbors, and then I made a suffle'

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

I thought so too. But it's hard to stinkpalm an email printout...

hate.

[hateful-girl.livejournal.com]

i dont like being single because even though i'm not dating or seeing a lot of people, i feel slutty. when i'm eating dinner at a restraunt with a new date, and i see a guy i used to date there, its like an episode of Sex and the City.

anyway, i was going to write about the tea.
if the water is too hot, it burns the tea leaves and doesn't taste as good. usually its because they used hot water from the espresso machine instead of hot water from the coffee machine. too hot.
and i hate the burned tongue feeling. hate.

Re: hate.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

I think they must use espresso water. Maybe they thought that as soon as I walked out the door with it, it would melt all the snow within a 14 block radius.

And for that, I can't fault them.

[erase-you.livejournal.com]

Single life sounds like fun but it's all a little shallow.......Bruce's behavior us a little odd, I think you should try doing the same to him and let us know how it goes.