Grandma and her angel dust

[twicketface]

Wednesday night I was watching Insomniac, that Dave Attell show on Comedy Central that is quite funny. Anyway, he was in Tennessee at a hotel that has ducks that ride the elevator down to the lobby and follow this red carpet to the main fountain. I think they come up from the basement, where they sleep. Anyway, it sounded familiar to me, and I then remember that it was described in My Year of Meats as well. I like making connections like that.

I find it disturbing when I ask someone a question via email and they don't answer it. Even an "I don't know" beats being ignored.

I was driving to work today and saw a semi with the rear doors open just as it was about to go on the highway. I can honestly say I've never seen that before.

This weekend I hope to learn the difference between its and it's. Because I honestly don't know.

Anyone refinancing their home mortgage based upon receiving an email of same might deserve to be ripped off.

One more: MARK CRISPIN-MILLER, Communications Professor, NYU: "Often there's a kind of official and systematic rebelliousness that's reflected in- in media products pitched at kids. It's part of the official rock video world view. It's part of the official advertising world view that your parents are creeps, teachers are nerds and idiots, authority figures are laughable, nobody can really understand kids except the corporate sponsor. That huge authority has, interestingly enough, emerged as the sort of tacit superhero of consumer culture. That's the coolest entity of all."

Why do I think know that this "War on Iraq, Version 2.0 (ok, more like 5.0)" is going to lead to the next world war?

I finally deleted the old messages from Eric on my work email. I also got rid of all the old emails from vegasdemilo. Life's too short to cling to that stuff, at least that's the direction I want to take.

I went for a nice, long walk last night but was overdressed. Jeans and two fleeces (flice?) because I thought it was going to be cold. I should have heeded mom's advice and "felt" outside before my venture. I managed and despite a side ache, it felt really nice. I did more listening to headphones than thinking, but it was still worthwhile.

I think I'm going to finish Max Payne this weekend. Probably the most entertaining (and complex) games I've played in a long time. The enemies are smarter than I am, which is a nice change for video games. I defraged the computer and it screams at me less as a result.

I need to learn something new. Like basic car maintenance or Linux or how to be a great(er) kisser. I haven't been to the library in far too long...perhaps Saturday.

Also, Happy National Coming Out Day.


http://www.kithfan.org/
Transcribed from: Comedy Central
Transcribed by: Matt Morrison (herogreenlantern@hotmail.com)

Cast:
Bruce- Old Widower
Scott- Old Man from Old Couple
Kevin- Old Woman Old Couple
Mark- Man from the Bank
Assorted Women
Two nurses
A Bum
[Setting. A Church Graveyard. There's a funeral going on.]
[We see a depressed Bruce enter a limo as an old couple watches him from the front steps]

Kevin: He's really broken up.

Scott: He'll be okay. He doesn't seem that bad.

Kevin: Well, at least she left him some insurance money. He's set up pretty well.

Scott: I sure hope he'll be okay...

Kevin: Oh, I think he'll be fine. Don't you think?

[The limo pulls off as we cut to Bruce's House]

[Bruce sits in his chair, watching two women in their underwear dance to some jazz/swing music. He wears a suit and looks quite pleased with himself.]

Bruce: [softly] Yeah. Oh yeah. yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's nice. Ummm.. yeah. That's nice. That's nice.. Oh that's good... oh, yeah.

[The women stop dancing]

Woman #1: 300 bucks?

[Bruce reaches into a paper bag he holds, pulls out a wad of money, counts out 300 bucks and gives it to the woman]

Bruce: Again.

[The women start shaking their groove thing again]

Bruce: Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah yeah yeah!

[Cut to Bruce's House at Night]

[Bruce sits in the same chair, but he's dressed more casually. Two different women, slightly younger are dancing for him to the same music]

Bruce: [sounding a bit louder and dare I say it, more beastial than before] Oooh.. oh yeah..That's what I like... that's nice.. yeah, yeah.. oooo yeah.... Yeah.. yeah, oo... yeah, yeah! (etc.)

[The women stop dancing]

Woman #2: 300 bucks.

[Bruce looks confused]

Woman #2: That will be 300 dollars please?

[Bruce nods and reaches into the brown bag and pulls out a wad of bills. It is much a much smaller wad than before, suggesting that he's been spending quite a bit of cash.]

[Bruce counts out the money and hands it to her.]

Bruce: [a bit more franctially than before] Again!

[The girls start dancing again]

Bruce: Yeah! Ooooooh! Yeah yeah! Oooh ! Yeah Yeah! (etc.)

[We cut to the Outside of Bruce's House again. It is day and he has another two different ladies performing for him]

Bruce: [grunting and moaning a bit now] Yeah! That's nice! Yeah! Yeah! Teach me, yeah yeah, yeah.! Oh. Don't tease, don't tease! Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah, Yeah..oh... Good. Yeah.. Yeah.. Too much.. yeah.. (etc.)

[The Women stop dancing]

Woman #3: 300 dollars.

[Bruce checks his bag. It is empty]

Bruce: Don't got. [motions to continue] Again! Heh?? Again!

Woman #3: No!

Bruce: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Again! Again!

Woman #3: No!

Bruce: Yeah, yeah yeah!....[spasms a bit in excitement] Again!

[Cut to later. Bruce is in his pajamas and looking at an eviction notice.]

Mark: Do you understand? The bank is forclosing on your mortgage because you haven't made any payments.

Bruce: [softly] Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Mark: Apparently you spent all your money? [shaking head in disbelief] Do you understand?

Bruce: [softer still] Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah.

[Cut to a nursing home. We see a shot of a public room and then cut to Bruce's room where he has two fully clothed nurses dancing for him. Just a note for you continuity freaks, but one nurse is a middle-aged black woman and the other is a not-quite-skinny white woman. How low the mighty have fallen.]

Bruce: [grunting now, almost hard to make out each word] Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Oh yeah!

[The nurses stop dancing]

Nurse: [bored] Okay... that will be 300 bucks.

Bruce: No got. [gestures] Again! Again!

[We see Bruce be carrying down a hallway in a wheelchair. He gibbers to himself in a crazy, horny old man way.]

[We cut to an alley somewhere and see a bum with a bottle and a harmonica. He takes a swig from the bottle and begins to play on the harmonica while dancing a strange jig.]

Bruce: Again! Again! Again! Yeah!

[We see Bruce holding two coins. The bum takes one and begins his dance again]

Bruce: Again, again again! Come on!

[The bum begins his song and dance again as Bruce gives him the other coin and the skit ends]

Comments

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[reject.livejournal.com]

i dig.