The cow is you

[twicketface]

I think I need to start a “real boobs” campaign. I’ll never claim to speak for the entire male population, but breast implants are incredibly disgusting and phony to me. Ick. Ick, ick, ick. YOU (women) are beautiful as you are, and putting life-threatening sacs of chemicals into your body will not make you any sexier. Hooray for real boobs.

I’ve decided to win the lottery and then build this incredibly cool housing structure with floor-sized apartment/condos for all my friends and also spaces for people who simply need a place to crash and every night would be a sleep over with lots of snacks and people in their pajamas. Also, the Dismemberment Plan would frequently stop by and rock our collective socks off, thus creating a hilarious scramble for everyone to reclaim their socks. Face to face will also stop by and Pete will teach me how to drum like a madman and I’ll be able to play encores with the guys. Dave Grohl will stop by too, but he’ll mostly just smoke and act cooler than everyone else. Also, Bill Hicks would come back from the dead and entertain us on a regular basis. There will also be several bagel shops and ice cream parlors within walking distance and they all will deliver 24 hours per day (and they can stay and play cribbage and ping pong with us if they like) and we’ll be big tippers. Who’s with me?

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I was randomly going through friends of friends of friends with LJ's and I was laughing so hard...Campaign for real boobs. How grand! I was just out with the girls the other night and they were completely trashed. I tend to take care of people in that position. Anyway, we got into a discussion with a group of my male friends. And had them guess who's were actually real or fake! And I will tell you this- Mine were voted 9/10 to be real while theirs were opted fake or a water bra...And mine were much more appreciated! Horray for REAL BOOBS! Thought you might want to know that. haha

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

Thank you, Anonymous Pro-real Boob Woman!

My boobs are real too.

[dream4distance.livejournal.com]

I'm with you on the real boobs front and I'm definitely in on the new housing if I won't get banned from the development when I attempt to dismember the Dismemberment Plan. heh.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

You'll be blacklisted before you can say "The Ice of Boston is muddy"...

Re:

[dream4distance.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah? Theiceofbos|XKLWadEBq8-Carrier lost-

[so-gracefully.livejournal.com]

i am with you on both the real boobs point and the 24-hour icecream point.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

I'll save you a room with a view and lots of closet space.

[harleyquinn.livejournal.com]

I want to play cribbage with risen-from-the-dead bill hicks.
And I propose that Jason Lee come live in the house. He could be my bedmate.
I don't wear socks most of the time, what would the dismemberment plan rock off of me?

fake boobs are icky and painful. I love my girls!
I also love you for being the kind of man who is pro-real-boob.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

Hicks gets first crib, on account of being dead.

Jason Lee is already living in the house, and he's making babies with me in the backroom. I still have to clear this with Marie, but he's taken! Ok, maybe he can give you a kiss every now and again.

Either slippers or shoes.

Re:

[harleyquinn.livejournal.com]

It only makes sense, though I'd argue first crib for myself being a less experienced cribbager.