Mitch and Bone
Dec. 1st, 2019 07:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
twicketfaceHi there.
It's me!
It's been six months or so since I last updated so just like your favorite Whitesnake song, here I go again on my own.
Life overall seems fine. I've been stressed out about work and some family stuff I can't get into yet. I think both will be fine but it gets tiresome carrying stuff around inside without a good place to put it.
I did somewhat turn over a new leaf by being more vocal about my feelings, mostly with regards to Kimberly. I'm super, super great at keeping shit bottled up and then being mad at the other person without their knowledge and it is all so very silly. So I'm going to start speaking up even when it's hard. We had two arguments (one minor and one that blew up in my face unexpectedly) in the past few weeks but I think both lead to some better understanding of our relationship and what is important to each of us.
The bigger argument had her saying some disappointing things (that didn't totally have to do with the argument itself) that has made me less thrilled about being in a relationship with her but I want to let some time pass to see how things shake out. I'm not an easy person to be in a relationship with due to my circumstances. I do think I'm overall a catch but lots and lots of things have to line up for it to work with another person, more than I think with other relationships.
I'm more convinced that marriage and living with a partner is not in my best interest and feel good about having that resolved. I saw my introversion as such a character flaw for so many years and instead see it as self-sufficiency and while certain company enhances my life, the prospect of solitude is almost always more appealing.
I like being partnered. I like having someone ask me about my day and having a back to rub while we watch bad movies together and send me jokes and compliment me on my cooking and fall asleep in my arms and then apologize for drooling on my chest. That's all really great but it hits a certain point where it gets to be too much. Monogamy is the only thing that makes sense to me but cohabitation just seems like a recipe for disaster.
I've gotten into better health habits with regard to working out and worse in regards to my diet. My sleep schedule has been consistent but not great (asleep by 11, wide awake at 3 until 4:30 and then awake again around 6:30). I'm reading more books but still spend too much time online and on screen.
I might have gotten to the beginnings of a good place with my relationship with my brother after years of trying and feeling like it was never reciprocated. So I'm trying to temper my expectations but still am hopeful.
I'd like to plan another road trip this summer but it's probably too soon to be thinking about it. The first weekend in January will be poker weekend with the guys and the first one in three years, so I'm anxiously awaiting reconnecting with them. I also seem to have made a new friend from church and am trying not to fuck it up by being over eager. He's a few years younger and went through a divorce about a year ago and said that I'm his fount of wisdom, which is hilarious. But we play cribbage every other month or so and visit and it's nice.
We recently celebrated my dad's 70th birthday (and my mom's will be next year) and he was really touched at the surprise party we put together. I'm so thankful they live close by and need to make an effort to see them more often.
I made a good cheesecake for Thanksgiving (here's the recipe: https://www.bitememore.com/feedme/281/salted-caramel-cheesecake-crunch-recipe ) and I need to cut down a Christmas tree next weekend and always have a love/hate mix towards the holidays since they usher in months of shitty weather. At least I have a weekly tennis league and a fireplace to sit by.
It's me!
It's been six months or so since I last updated so just like your favorite Whitesnake song, here I go again on my own.
Life overall seems fine. I've been stressed out about work and some family stuff I can't get into yet. I think both will be fine but it gets tiresome carrying stuff around inside without a good place to put it.
I did somewhat turn over a new leaf by being more vocal about my feelings, mostly with regards to Kimberly. I'm super, super great at keeping shit bottled up and then being mad at the other person without their knowledge and it is all so very silly. So I'm going to start speaking up even when it's hard. We had two arguments (one minor and one that blew up in my face unexpectedly) in the past few weeks but I think both lead to some better understanding of our relationship and what is important to each of us.
The bigger argument had her saying some disappointing things (that didn't totally have to do with the argument itself) that has made me less thrilled about being in a relationship with her but I want to let some time pass to see how things shake out. I'm not an easy person to be in a relationship with due to my circumstances. I do think I'm overall a catch but lots and lots of things have to line up for it to work with another person, more than I think with other relationships.
I'm more convinced that marriage and living with a partner is not in my best interest and feel good about having that resolved. I saw my introversion as such a character flaw for so many years and instead see it as self-sufficiency and while certain company enhances my life, the prospect of solitude is almost always more appealing.
I like being partnered. I like having someone ask me about my day and having a back to rub while we watch bad movies together and send me jokes and compliment me on my cooking and fall asleep in my arms and then apologize for drooling on my chest. That's all really great but it hits a certain point where it gets to be too much. Monogamy is the only thing that makes sense to me but cohabitation just seems like a recipe for disaster.
I've gotten into better health habits with regard to working out and worse in regards to my diet. My sleep schedule has been consistent but not great (asleep by 11, wide awake at 3 until 4:30 and then awake again around 6:30). I'm reading more books but still spend too much time online and on screen.
I might have gotten to the beginnings of a good place with my relationship with my brother after years of trying and feeling like it was never reciprocated. So I'm trying to temper my expectations but still am hopeful.
I'd like to plan another road trip this summer but it's probably too soon to be thinking about it. The first weekend in January will be poker weekend with the guys and the first one in three years, so I'm anxiously awaiting reconnecting with them. I also seem to have made a new friend from church and am trying not to fuck it up by being over eager. He's a few years younger and went through a divorce about a year ago and said that I'm his fount of wisdom, which is hilarious. But we play cribbage every other month or so and visit and it's nice.
We recently celebrated my dad's 70th birthday (and my mom's will be next year) and he was really touched at the surprise party we put together. I'm so thankful they live close by and need to make an effort to see them more often.
I made a good cheesecake for Thanksgiving (here's the recipe: https://www.bitememore.com/feedme/281/salted-caramel-cheesecake-crunch-recipe ) and I need to cut down a Christmas tree next weekend and always have a love/hate mix towards the holidays since they usher in months of shitty weather. At least I have a weekly tennis league and a fireplace to sit by.
no subject
Date: 2019-12-02 04:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-12-03 02:08 am (UTC)How was the cheesecake?
no subject
Date: 2019-12-03 02:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-12-03 10:17 pm (UTC)