where I can lay my head down inside these arms of yours

[twicketface]

So, there might be a chance Kimberly can still reconcile.  We're taking some time apart and will (I guess) reconnect after the summer to see how we feel.  I reactivated my OKCupid account and signed up for Bumble this past week - both of which have zero appeal to me but it feels like the thing to do?  And good lord, I forgot how many women post group pictures so you have to guess which one they are or all their pics are with sunglasses.  Kimberly did too (the latter) and I don't think I really saw her eyes until our first date.  I think her concerns can be addressed, but maybe not to the degree she wants them to be.  Everyone I tell thinks she's being weird but they're probably just being nice.  There might be a woman from church who's interested in me (and in the midst of a divorce) but I can't read a signal to save my life so I'm probably just projecting feelings of being wanted.  Her ex was physically abusive to her (in front of their kids) and it makes me so, so angry.

Anyway, Nate's turning 12 at the end of the month and I'm throwing a mac-and-cheese party for him tomorrow.  Two huge pans of mac and cheese and a build-your-own topping bar (BBQ pulled pork, taco meat, pesto, pizza sauce, sriracha, sauteed mushrooms/onions, roasted broccoli, roasted red peppers, bacon bits, and so on).  It's my first time with this particular recipe so hopefully it'll turn out okay.  Heading to Costco tonight to get his cake and a few last minute things.  He's told me for the past two months that the *only* thing he really wants is the Dungeon Master Handbook so you can bet your ass he's going to be one happy kid.

I'm taking a FB hiatus (partially Kimberly-related) and using a medication app when I feel the urge to check-in.  It's shocking to me how much I don't miss it - it got to be such a way to fill the first second of boredom I felt at work.  Trying to make it to the end of the month before checking in there and probably a good time to clean-up my friend's list.  Using my time at night to read instead has been great - I stumbled across A Simple Plan (it was turned into a movie with Billy Bob Thornton a while back, which I didn't see) and it's pretty good.  I haven't come across a page-turner that's really grabbed me in a while.

I started lifting weights again and it's been a good experience to use my set in the basement.  I need to get back to the Y where I can do more of a complete workout but one thing at a time.

I guess my boss and I are going to start traveling for client visits similar to what we did when I first started six years ago.  I'm a mix of excited and dread.  Can be fun to see a new city and my boss and I get along pretty well but it's hard being away from Nate.  It might include some solo-travel for me since there are a few clients in Madison and Chicago that I could drive to.  Self-confidence is still shot to hell so I'll feel better eventually.

Comments

[twicketface]

I've hosted grilled cheese parties before (when the base is carbs, you can improvise a lot) and this one went pretty well.

There are a small handful of people that are only on FB that I like to keep up with, but even checking in once a week is better than 30 times a day.