Ganked from my friendsfriends list
Jun. 23rd, 2004 11:37 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
twicketfaceA Message From Pets To Their Owners
1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years or more. Any separation from you will be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want from me. Do not break my spirit with your temper, though I will always forgive you. Your patience will teach me more effectively.
3. Please have me spayed or neutered.
4. Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for your kindness than mine. Don't be angry with me for long, and don't lock me up as punishment. After all, you have your job, your friends, your entertainment. I only have you.
5. Speak to me often. Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice when it's speaking to me. Your voice is the sweetest sound I ever hear, as you must know by my enthusiasm whenever I hear your footsteps.
6. Take me in when it's cold and wet. I'm a domestic animal and am no longer accustomed to the bitter elements. I ask for little more than your gentle hands petting me. Keep my bowl filled with water. Feed me good food so that I may stay well to romp and play. By your side, I stand ready, willing and able to share my life with you, for that is what I live for. I'll never forget how well you've treated me.
7. Before you hit me, remember nature gave me weapons that I could use, but I choose not to hurt you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I've been out in the sun too long, my ear may hurt, or my heart may be getting weak.
9. Take care of me when I get old. For you will grow old, too.
10. When I am old, or when I no longer enjoy good health, please do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having fun. Just see to it that my trusting life is taken gently. And be with me on that difficult journey when it's time to say goodbye. Never say, "I just can't bear to watch it." Everything is easier for me when you are there. I will leave this earth knowing with my last breath that my fate was always safest in your hands. I love you.
Ok, a little creepy, but still valid.
1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years or more. Any separation from you will be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want from me. Do not break my spirit with your temper, though I will always forgive you. Your patience will teach me more effectively.
3. Please have me spayed or neutered.
4. Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more grateful for your kindness than mine. Don't be angry with me for long, and don't lock me up as punishment. After all, you have your job, your friends, your entertainment. I only have you.
5. Speak to me often. Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice when it's speaking to me. Your voice is the sweetest sound I ever hear, as you must know by my enthusiasm whenever I hear your footsteps.
6. Take me in when it's cold and wet. I'm a domestic animal and am no longer accustomed to the bitter elements. I ask for little more than your gentle hands petting me. Keep my bowl filled with water. Feed me good food so that I may stay well to romp and play. By your side, I stand ready, willing and able to share my life with you, for that is what I live for. I'll never forget how well you've treated me.
7. Before you hit me, remember nature gave me weapons that I could use, but I choose not to hurt you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I've been out in the sun too long, my ear may hurt, or my heart may be getting weak.
9. Take care of me when I get old. For you will grow old, too.
10. When I am old, or when I no longer enjoy good health, please do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having fun. Just see to it that my trusting life is taken gently. And be with me on that difficult journey when it's time to say goodbye. Never say, "I just can't bear to watch it." Everything is easier for me when you are there. I will leave this earth knowing with my last breath that my fate was always safest in your hands. I love you.
Ok, a little creepy, but still valid.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2004-06-23 09:49 am (UTC)I'm a wuss.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-23 10:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-23 10:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-23 10:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-23 10:26 am (UTC)#10
Date: 2004-06-23 10:31 am (UTC)Re: #10
Date: 2004-06-23 10:43 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-06-25 09:28 am (UTC)Rules Cats Live By…
BATHROOMS:
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do anything. Just sit and stare.
DOORS:
Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand on hind legs and hammer with forepaws. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway in and out and think about several things. This is particularly important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.
CHAIRS AND RUGS:
If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good. When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long as a humans bare foot.
HAMPERING:
If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other is idle, stay with the busy one. This is called "helping," otherwise known as "hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering:"
1) When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and then picked up and comforted.
2) For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book, unless you can lie across the book itself.
3) For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to obscure as much of the work as possible or pretend to doze, but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen.
4) For people paying bills or working on income taxes or Christmas cards, keep in mind the aim: to hamper! First, sit on the paper being worked on. When dislodged, watch sadly from the side of the table. When activity proceeds nicely, roll around on the papers, scattering them to the best of your ability. After being removed for the second time, push pens, pencils, and erasers off the table, one at a time.
5) When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to jump on the back of the paper. Humans love to jump.
6) When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk across keyboard, bat at mouse pointer on screen and then lay in human's lap across arms, hampering typing in progress.
WALKING:
As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of the human, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will help their coordination skills.
BEDTIME:
Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around.
LITTER BOX:
When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.
HIDING:
Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you. Do not come out for three to four hours under any circumstances. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love) thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the humans will over you with love and kisses and you will probably get a treat.
ONE LAST THOUGHT:
Whenever possible, get close to a human, especially their face, turn around and present your butt to them. Humans love this, so do it often. And don't forget guests.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-25 11:17 am (UTC)