I'm saying it's okay to come home

I feel bad that it took me this long to figure things out, but it is a universal truth.

Married people aren't very interesting.

Single people always have the best stories. Tawdry tales of staying out all night, flirting with new members of the opposite sex on a regular basis, cooking all meals using only a pizza oven - married people can't compete. Do you know what I did last night? I got home, made dinner, watched some television, dorked around on the internet and was in bed by 8:20. I'm not kidding. "Mr. Interesting? No, he lives next door. Mr. Boring here, nice to meet you. Now either come in or leave, you're letting the heat out!"

This is not to say I would prefer being single. I was single for almost 50 years and love being married. But on the off chance I get invited to a party or socialize with a group of people I don't know that well, I want someone else to be telling the stories. Because while shoveling the driveway and putting the cat toys away are vital ingredients to a good life, they don't hold the attention of anyone.

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Apparently, I made a mistake ordering chai tea this morning. There is a coffee house (now that's a stupid title. Who lives there?) next door and I indulge once every few months. Not only did I order a "medium" (the clerk, seething with rage, corrected me while repeating back my order as a "tall" vanilla chai) but I didn't specify to go easy on the NINE HUNDRED AND FUCKING EIGHTY DEGREE WATER. I let the tea sit for 15 minutes before taking a sip and my tongue now has the appearance (and feel) of an exploded bratwurst, left too long in the microwave. Woe is me.

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I work closely with one of the partners at work. Let's call him Bruce, because that's his name. Bruce is a nice guy. He did most of the recruiting work before I was hired, so I ask him lots of questions. Anyway, he has a weird habit. When he walks into my office to talk to me about something, he'll always pick up something either from my inbox or my desk and look at it. He'll keep talking when he does this, so maybe he's doing it without realizing it. I don't think he's snooping around, but it's disconcerting just the same. I thought about doing the same thing to him one time, but then I chickened out.

I'm posting 40 times a day to make up for next week

Interview questions from dream4distance:
1. What are your favorite Face to Face songs/lyrics?
Favorite song is "For You", a b-side to the album Reactionary. Favorite lyrics are from Falling, from the self-titled album:

It's really easy if you try
To tell another hundred lies
But I'm not going down this time
Just when I think I'm over it
It's getting easy to forget
I haven't eve faced it yet

I never wanted anyone to be so wrong for you
I never wanted anyone to be so wrong for you
I never wanted anyone to be so wrong for you
Stop falling down

I don't have anyone to blame
I can't make anybody change
I guess there's nothing more to say

I won't believe it if you say that you will change
I won't release you from responsibility
I never wanted to come down on you this way

2. What's your favorite piece of furniture at home?
Good question. Hands down, our king sized bed. It is the best bed ever.

3. Would you be willing to boycott Valentines Day if I'm not seeing anyone by then?
Probably.

4. Can I crash at your place if I come out to visit Wisconsin? (Madison area)
Yes. We're about 100 miles from Madison, but you're more than welcome to crash in the guest bedroom.

5. What exactly was your involvement with the Bare Wench Project and why?
Well, we saw it on the video rack and thought it looked funny. It was pretty typical softcore porn - all the women had gross, fake boobs and the whole thing was kinda ridiculous. The only part that lives on is one of the women exclaimed "Holy Frijoles!" at one point. Marie and I repeat this when the situation warrants it.