I wonder where Adam and Steve are registered

[twicketface]

Holy fucking fuck! The poker shirt came in the mail today at work and it is beyond words. It's a little larger than I thought (as in, I could smuggle a desktop printer to the table without anyone noticing) but it will indeed provide the extra luck I need to come out at least $1.35 ahead each time we play poker. It should pay for itself in 14 or so years.

And it's clear that Scarlett Johansson reads me journal and, as a result, wants me. From http://www.imdb.com:

BAFTA winner Scarlett Johansson has discovered another downside of feeling older than her 19 years - men her own age are too immature to date. The self-confessed "woman trapped in a young body" - who has wowed Hollywood with her performance in Oscar-nominated Lost In Translation as a young wife falling in love with an older man - is frustrated with meeting men her own age, because she always has to make the first move. She says, "In the two relationships I have been in so far, I'm always the one to initiate a kiss. I don't mean that I don't get kissed back but most of the time a large chunk of it is me going in for the kiss. It's weird."

I can't tell you how many things are wrong with that situation. How do I break the news to Marie?

Comments

[propsero.livejournal.com]

what was the shirt? Where did you get it?

Re:

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=20849&item=3659940797&ssPageName=STRK:MEBWN:IT

[dream4distance.livejournal.com]

Luckily, there will be no need to break the news to Marie as I am actually the man of Scartlett's dreams. Let me refer you to an earlier post of mine (http://www.livejournal.com/users/dream4distance/62871.html). I've already claimed her, so back off pud.

Re:

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

See, that's the difference. You professed your love for her, while she clearly professed her love for me. There's a big difference, champ.

I'd invite you to the wedding, but you'd just get your heart broken all over again. I think The Donna's drummer is still available. Me-ow!

Re:

[dream4distance.livejournal.com]

I can see the reality show forming... Scarlett as the star, having to choose between LJ friends with only their user icons and witty banter as possible keys to unlock her heart. Who will be victorious?

Consolation prize is the Donna's drummer. Yuuuuummmy.

[b-sides.livejournal.com]

Women are a strange breed- my girlfriend was more than tolerant when I started dribbling over meeting Kelly MacDonald. She didn't even scream when they were in the same room together. If only I had gotten them both into bed...

Re:

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

I have looked up this Kelly MacDonald and obtained a boner.

Re:

[b-sides.livejournal.com]

She's even more fabulous in real life. She's this tiny hot bird with a fb Scottish accent who drinks pints of Guinness and shows it nowhere. Truly, she is God's gift to me.