(no subject)

[twicketface]

I've been thinking a lot about marriage and Marie as of late. I know that, unless she finds out about all those hookers I killed back in the late 80s, we'll be married forever. We've had disagreements in the past, but no fights. Neither of us are coded to stand our ground no matter what. We cave, we buckle, we compromise. We learn what is worth speaking up about and what isn't. I couldn't imagine my life without Marie and know that I wouldn't be able to be with anyone else if anything would happen to her. When you've been with 'the one', everyone else just seems like an imposter.

In speaking with my grandfather a few weeks ago about my brother's situation, I asked him why he thought divorce was more common now. He said that with marriage, you have to learn to 'swallow it' once in a while. Unless he was giving me oral sex tips, I think he meant that people aren't willing to make sacrifices for each other any more.

I see marriage as a wonderful thing and there is a lot of honor that goes with it. To commit your life to one person until you shuffle off the mortal coil is rather intense. And I take my wedding vows with serious intensity. The fact that not everyone does is tragic.

In other news, we had a new employee start today that looks like a cross between Tina Fey and my sister-in-law.

Happy slaughter and persecute all non-whites and animals that taste good Thanksgiving.

Comments

[so-gracefully.livejournal.com]

there's someone on my friends list who is married, has been married for 10 years or something, and he doesn't love his wife at all. i'm not sure whether he's actually physically cheating, but he says that he loves someone else. it's so horrifying to me, and i wanted to take him off my list because cheating is far and away one of the top three worst things human beings can do, and i don't feel like i want to have anything to do with a person who can do that. but in another way, i'm very interested in understanding how he justifies it to himself as acceptable behavior. i want to understand how people can do things like that, at such an expense to others. anyway. i think it's fantastically wonderful that you have such respect for marriage, because PEOPLE REALLY SHOULD.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean - sometimes I want to stick around to see how things turn out but don't want it to be seen as supporting it either.

I think I'd rather be stabbed in the face than cheated on.

[emily-grace.livejournal.com]

I know exactly what you mean. Eli and I aren't married yet, but we will be on August 7. By that time we will have been together for 2 1/2 years.

We were talking the other day about how we've never really had a fight. Sure, we disagree like everyone does, but our conflicts are always resolved before the day is over, usually within an hour or two. Eli's sister is always fighting with her husband, and theirs last for days. Even when they're down here visting (they're from Utah) - which is really strange to me, because I can't imagine getting in a huge fight while someone else is trying to be nice and entertain you.

I feel the same as you - so many people don't seem to have respect for marriage. I can't count the times I've heard my friends badmouth it. It's a shame - Eli and I support each other, and we compromise. It just doesn't seem like there's anything we could disagree on that would be worth being apart. Anyway, it's good to know there are people out there that have the same values.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

There is something to be said for conviction - I can't respect people that don't see the value in staying true to things, be it themselves or others.

Good luck with the wedding - if you need tips or planning advice, just give a holler.

[mysti.livejournal.com]

I think it's so great that you're so happily married. It is a rareity. People now don't always even really know who they're marrying. I think the population is so closed and guarded and nobody wants to let anyone in.

And I do believe your grandfather is right. Nobody is willing to back down. It's more important to be right, to be the winner, to come out on top. Never mind that your relationship is at stake and that a simple slight of that stupid pride could save it.

I congratulate you on having found your one. :-) I'm still looking for mine!

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

Thank you for confirming my hopes that there are still good people around. I'm not so blinded by love that I think everyday is utterly wonderful and that I wouldn't change anything. But I think that the bad times are necessary - they help us grow and learn. At the first whiff of effort, most people take their toys and go home. Like you said, there is more to life than winning.

I'm sure it'll happen for you. If geography wasn't an issue, I'd be playing matchmaker for everyone :0

[xjustinx.livejournal.com]

i remember when you got married. it was a sweet one. i'm married to the edge.

[diesel-powered.livejournal.com]

You know, I think you're right. For some reason, making compromises in relationships has turned into either "they're not right for you, too pushy" or simply "you settled. you could've done so much better."

And for chrissakes, take off your liberal whitey guilt cap. It's a holiday. ;)

[hateful-girl.livejournal.com]

i am happy for you. you are lucky, i am sure you know.

i have so many mixed feelings about my own relationship because even after the fights we've had (and they have been big, mean, nasty, ugly, i-never-thought-this-could-happen-to-me type fights), i still love him and i still think maybe someday we could get married and be as happy as couples like you. but sometimes i wonder if i am out of my mind to think feel this way after what has happened.

who knows.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

My advice would be to look deep within him and see what you find. If he's a good person and makes you happy, the relationship is worth fighting for. If it seems like more work than happiness, maybe now's not the time.

Ain't life grand?