Justin's Survey (xjustinx)

[twicketface]

PART ONE - BASICS

1. What is your full name? Brian Ronald Murton
2. What is your quest? To make the world a better place
3. Who was your first kiss? A girl named Karter Thompson. She came out of the closet 4 years later
4. What happened to your first pet? Had to be put down
5. What part of the school bus did you prefer to occupy (back, front, middle, in the bus driver's lap, etc)? Wherever there was legroom
6. What is your favorite meal? Not food, you ass, meal. Lasagna (or pasta) with garlic bread and a big glass o’ milk
7. How many colors has your hair been? Brown and dark brown (I guess that makes two)
8. Would you rather have a really low IQ and a very big penis or a very high IQ and a tiny baby penis? If you're a girl, assume you're a boy. I’ll go for the baby penis. There are enough dim-witted porn stars
9. What are you gonna pick? (Hot pockets)? Yeah, I guess so.
10. What were some of your notable childhood injuries? My brother told me our neighbor was outside in her underwear. I ran to see and shoved my arm through a glass door, requiring a multitude of stitches. Bastard.

PART TWO - USELESS POP CULTURE REFERENCES

11. Who was your favorite member of the Golden Girls cast? Rose, closely followed by Sophia
12. In a fight between the casts of Golden Girls and Designing Women, which cast would reign supreme? Bea Arthur would kick some major Delta Burke ass
13. Let's say you normally did not do drugs. If the kid who plays Simon on Seventh Heaven ran into you and asked you to smoke a few bowls with him, would you do it just so you could brag about getting totally fuckered with Simon from Seventh Heaven? Yes, if I could smoke out of the bowl on his head when he gets his haircut.
14. What's your favorite color of Crayola Crayon that is not found in the standard 8-Color pack? Burnt Siena
15. Who do you feel is funnier, Ernie Hudson, who played Winston in Ghostbusters and Ghostbusters 2, or that 7-Up pitchman who stars in the Evolution movie? Ernie, by a long shot.
16. Tell the truth, when those singing, talking fish things first came out in stores (you know, Louie the Large Mouthed Bass and shit), did you think it was pretty funny? Fuck no.
17. Who looks uglier without any makeup, Cameron Diaz or Christian Applegate? Christina (spelling counts) Applegate.
18. Who was more bad ass, Charles Bronson in the first Death Wish or Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver? Don’t fuck with De Niro
19. What's your favorite Super Nintendo game? Kung Fu is my favorite regular Nintendo game. Super Nintendo has never been in my possession, but I heard that 007 game was pretty cool.
20. Did you ever drink Red Bull normally before it became trendy to mix it with Vodka or whatever the fuck those crazy kids are doing these days? No.

PART THREE - MUSIC
21. What do you think the best band on Dischord records ever is? Fugazi, because it's the only one I know that's on Dischord.
22. Name three good pop punk bands ever. (Note - pop punk bands who have appeared on MTV are disqualified). What do you mean 'ever'?
23. The best Propagandhi album/song is? Pigs will Pay
24. If they did a new version of Scooby Doo, except with one of the bands on Fat Wreck Chords solving crimes and mysteries, which band do you think would be best for the role? Me First and the Gimme Gimmes, without a doubt
25. If a major emotional hardcore band on Victory Records COUGHCOUGHREACHTHESKYCOUGHCOUGH kicked you in the junk shortly before they got really famous at a small show in a VFW hall, how would you extract your revenge? Masturbate on their decomposing corpses
26. When you are experiencing stomache pains, what song plays in your head? Plop Plop, Fizz Fizz
27. Where do all the punks hang out at your local mall? There are no punks in Oshkosh, WI
28. Which boy band is best, and more importantly, which boy band has the longest average penis girth? Justin Zone
29. If Ian Mackaye signed your yearbook, what do you think he would write? If you don't know who Ian Mackaye is, feel free to subsitute Glen Danzig. “You’ve got straight-edge. Best Friends Forever”
30. What current hardcore band do you think would make the coolest set of action figures, and which band would be cool as their "enemy" figures? Beatsticks vs. Dropkick Murphys OR Color Me Badd vs. Gerardo

PART FOUR - SEX
31. What's your favorite sexual position? The ones involving Marie
32. Where's the wildest place you've ever had sex? (Location, not area of the body you've penetrated/had penetrated) I'm not very wild.
33. When you're masturbating, what's your preferred source of lubrication? None.
34. Why do so many girls insist that they don't masturbate, but clearly enough do to support the large dildo/vibrator industry? It’s unlady like.
35. If on the last day of high school that gross girl who always picked her nose and knocked out her dandruff onto her binder in your social studies class told you she touched herself when she thought of you, how would you react? With boyish shame
36. For guys, what's the oddest thing you've ever stuck your penis in? For girls, what's the oddest thing that has ever entered your vagina? A pitcher of water
37. Whom in punk rock would you most like to get your sexing on with? Justin Ogden
38. While filling out this survey, how many times did you think about sex? 7
39. If your friends said they'd give you five hundred dollars to masturbate in church (up until orgasm), would you try it? No, I’m already going to hell.
40. What are some notable places outside your home you've masturbated in? (at work, friend’s houses, my basement, in your dreams)

PART FIVE - BOSTON MARKET
41. Can I help you? No.
42. For here or to go? To go.
43. How many sides? 3
44. What sides would you like? Mashed potatoes, mac and cheese and Cinnamon Toast Crunch
45. Anything else? No
46. Any drinks or deserts? Lord no.
47. That's all? Yes, you fucking moron.
48. Can I get you any utensils? Out of your ass, maybe
49. How about some napkins? Will you wipe me?
50. Do you need a bag? You need a tea-bagging, sucka