twicketface

Since I've whored myself out via email, I'll do so here too. I'm bowling for Bowl for Kids Sake, the main fund raiser for Big Brothers Big Sisters. If anyone would like to sponsor me (please please), drop me a line at twicketface@livejournal.com and let me know for how much (even $5 or $10 can make a difference!). I'll totally be your best friend and send you a prize of some sort.

I've been relatively productive today, finishing up a large project and preparing for a day of meetings tomorrow.

Shreya and Terry came over last night. We had a glorious meal at Applebee's (fantastic veggie burgers and fries) and nice conversation as well. Shreya is a blast and I don't get to see her often enough. Hopefully she'll survive another semester at vet school and we can hang over the summer.

I've not that much to say today, so let's just get with the jokes.

Why did the crab get arrested?
Because he was always pinching things (it's funny because it's true)
Nicole: Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn't do
Amelia: What was that
Nicole: My homework!

What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
An envelope

What's grey and squirts jam at you?
A mouse eating a doughnut

If you drop a white hat into the Red Sea, what does it become?
Wet

Almost as good as the tuba toothpaste one:
What does a dentist call his x-rays?
Tooth-pics

What's small and cuddly and bright purple?
A koala holding his breath

What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?
A stick

What's brown, white and yellow and travels at 100 kilometres per hour?
A train driver's egg sandwich

What's sweet and sour and violent?
Kung-food

What has a bottom at its top?
A leg

What keeps jazz musicians on earth?
Groovity

What's worse than raining cats and dogs?
Hailing taxis

Where do people go dancing in California?
San Frandisco (is that true?)

What do you call a gorilla wearing ear-muffs?
Anything you like, he can't hear you

What is white when it's dirty and black when it's clean?
A blackboard

Boy to girl: Do you file your nails?
Girl: No, when I cut them off, I throw them away

What do you give an elephant that's going to be sick?
Plenty of space

If all your clothes were stolen, what would you go home in?
The dark

What do you call a hippie's wife?
Mississippi