Well I thought about the Army...

[twicketface]

Everyone at my company got the following message from our CEO today via email. Emphasis mine...

Today starts a New Year for OURCOMPANY(note - our fiscal year starts June 1st). I want to take a moment and thank each of you for your dedication to our firm's vision and purpose. Each of you plays an important part in our firm's success. You make OURCOMPANY what it is. Your spirit of entrepreneurship and drive for the success of our clients and our people make us a unique firm. Of course, we have our differences, but those are properly set aside when we speak of carrying on the OURCOMPANY Legacy.

Nationally, we are amidst some struggles. Our enemies would like nothing more than to see our great country crack under pressure. Each of us has a part to demonstrate the resolve we have to keep our country strong, and to keep our economy thriving. Our demonstration of solid family values and core values will give us a great advantage over those who think we are weak. At OURCOMPANY, we can continue providing exceptional client service in assisting our clients in doing their part in building our economy. This is the time to give even more effort and exceptional service for our clients.

Most importantly, I ask each and everyone of us to continue to support our men and women in the armed forces throughout the world. While we are enjoying our peace, they are encountering some incredibly difficult circumstances, with enemies that do not have heart or values, and do not value life itself. Regardless of your political or spiritual persuasion, please take a moment each day to say a prayer for our courageous soldiers everywhere. They deserve it.

Thank you.
CEO'S NAME

Comments

[htothem.livejournal.com]

Did you ask him for a raise so you could do a better job of keeping the economy strong?

[vivisectasch.livejournal.com]

Yeah. If my boss wanted be to pray every day (whatever my faith may be, of course), I think I'd need an extra thousand or two dollars annually.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

That is a fantastic idea.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

I now have a legitimate excuse for not getting my work done on time!

[cheryln.livejournal.com]

Um, I think "our enemies" have pretty strong values. Zealots usually do, that's what makes them extremists.

So, is this just a traditional beginning-of-year hokey email, or does it mean there are layoffs or benefits cuts or other unpleasant things coming and CEO wants to look compassionate ahead of them?

[crafting-change.livejournal.com]

with enemies that do not have heart or values, and do not value life itself.

what.the.fuck???

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

But they don't have our values. Hence, they are evil and must be stopped.

Might just be a tie-in to Memorial Day (and the prevelant sales that go along with it). As a company, we're pretty financially solid, but things can change quickly.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

I can't even find the words...

[bobwhite.livejournal.com]

Surely our enemies survive only on the blood of Christian children and have formed an unholy homosexual bond with Satan and his rogue band of fallen angels.

[amanda-mary.livejournal.com]

Whaaaaaa'??!? (throw in a few more question marks and exclamation points, too)

[microbie.livejournal.com]

Is your CEO's name JOHN ASHCROFT?

[hexkitten.livejournal.com]

I wonder if the company has any employees of Middle Eastern descent?

[crafting-change.livejournal.com]

I wonder, there would be the quickest way to really offend some folks.

[htothem.livejournal.com]

Satan is gay? But I wanted his demon cock!

[so-gracefully.livejournal.com]

WOW that is frightening. other people so foolishly ignore our good, solid american values of excess and violence, and they are heartless as they are brutally beaten and humiliated and tortured by our illustrious troops. and regardless of your spiritual persuasion, please pray, because there is no such thing as someone who doesn't pray.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

I pictured Jon Stewart saying that as I read your comment and had a good laugh!

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

I think we might have a breach of national security on our hands.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

I know, it's so funny. I've never done anything wrong and if you think I've done wrong, then you're wrong and must be killed. For freedom, you see.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

I don't think so, but this is a very good point.

[hexkitten.livejournal.com]

I imagine that it would play out like that scene from "Anger Management (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0305224/)". The Middle Eastern employee could walk in with the memo. The employer could sputter, "No, I don't mean you people. I mean those people. The ones that are actually in your native country."

[vivisectasch.livejournal.com]

You know, that's funny ... Most people just want his demon seed...

[htothem.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but you just know that doing it with Satan is going to be Hot! I hear he's pretty horny.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

Taking a look at the pop charts, I think he'll fuck anything that moves.

[crafting-change.livejournal.com]

ya, like your um.. cousins...and parents... doh.

[mikecheck.livejournal.com]

my favorite bush quote ever is posted on our csh register and goes something like this:

"these people hate freedom and we love freedom. and that's what you're seeing here. that's where the clash occurs."

see, we can point this shit out all day long, but the thing about it is that people actually get behind it and, like, put it under their pillow at night. my problem has always been, and still is, how the hell do we stop this kind of rhetoric before we get to the point where it's stopped by bombs falling on our fucking heads? i mean, it's taken fifty years and twice destroying Germany to get them onto the program of world peace, and even so, they're still in line with the larger Capitalist agenda.

[lemur68.livejournal.com]

Oh barf.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

Shh! I'm praying!!

[hexkitten.livejournal.com]

I see your points. Even though specific ethnic groups aren't named, the timing pretty much suggests who our "enemies" are.

By the way, I'm not racist. I'm prejudice. I hate everybody. :)

[wicketgate.livejournal.com]

Holy shit. That's just so wrong on so many levels.