Bored at work

A serious dissertation regarding which posterior-related song is superior:
Thong Song (Sisqo) vs. Baby Got Back (Sir. Mix a Lot)

1. Opening of song
TS – Brief ramblings by Sisqo
BGB – Discussion between two women about the size of third woman’s butt
Advantage: BGB

2. Women portrayed in music video
TS – Scantly-clad women, thongs exposed
BGB – Realistic women with “healthy butts”
Advantage: BGB

3. Actions of rapper in video
TS – Backflips, examining of said ‘thongs’
BGB – Rapping into microphone, struggling to keep Anaconda at bay, women dancing on huge, fake butts
Advantage:Push

4. – Sampling in song
TS – Livin’ La Vide Loca by Ricky Martin
BGB – Me So Horny by 2 Live Crew
Advantage: BGB

5. – Message of song
TS – Good anal hygine
BGB – Healthier body image, but potential over-consumption
Advantage: TS

6. – Staying power of song
TS – 3 months
BGB – Still going strong
Advantage: BGB

7. – Coolness of name
Sisqo – Computer company of the same name is more famous
Sir Mix a Lot – Of a rare crop of rappers to also be royalty
Advantage: Sir Mix a Lot

8. – Sample lyrics
TS – “I like it when the beat goes Duh dun duh
Baby make your booty go Duh dun duh
Baby I know you wanna show Duh dun duh
That thong thong thong thong thong”

BGB – “So ladies? (yeah) Ladies? (yeah)
If you wanna roll in my mercedes, then turn around, stick it out.
Even white boys got to shout....baby's got back.”
Advantage: BGB

9. – Other hits by same artist
Sisqo – None
Sir Mix a Lot – None
Advantage: Sisqo, for his potential

Synopsis:
Weighing the advantages and disadvantages of the two songs, it is clear that “Baby Got Back” is the superior song. While “Thong Song” has certain appeal, the sheer annoyance of lyrical repetition could disqualify the song all together. Dumps like a truck? C’mon.

Congratulations, Sir Mix a Lot and keep up the good work towards portraying “healthy butts” in a positive light and serving as a role model for young people everywhere.