Critical ass

[twicketface]

I do believe the planets were aligned, as after hundreds of clicks of the 'Random' link, my own journal came up.

So, riddle me this. If a friend of yours does something rude/selfish/to hurt your feelings (but unintentionally), do you point it out to them or let it slide? I'm having issues with our cultural avoidance of helping people become better people. I just can't help but think that if I did something to someone else, I would want to know about it so I could correct it.

As always, I think I overthink things too much. Sometimes it feels that I'm trying to live somewhere in the middle of sell-out and success. Ideals shouldn't be on a sliding scale.

I still want to take a vow of silence.

Comments

[fingeringsolace.livejournal.com]

point it out. of course, i'd probably cry about it so it would be pretty obvious.

[hexkitten.livejournal.com]

You mope around them. The first ten times that they ask you what's wrong, you sigh, "Nothing." Proceed to cast your eyes down and mope.

One day - about six months to a year down the line - as they're in the kitchen and ask if you want a drink, you go ballistic on their ass. Bring up everything they ever did to piss you off or hurt your feelings.

Of course, people don't do this if they've progressed past the high school stage of dating. ;)

I say, constructively let them know. Don't make it into a big emotional deal, or make it seem like a guilt trip. I'm with you in that I'd want to be aware, so as not to accidentally repeat the behaviour.

[wicketgate.livejournal.com]

I point it out.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

What about if the person is so utterly oblivious to their own actions and how they affect others? I would love to sit down with him/her and offer 'help', but it would be taken as a I'm better than You speech.

Why can't I just let insignificant things go?
(Because I make them significant!)

[hexkitten.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, it just takes awhile to word things just right. On the other hand, what I sometimes have to say sounds harsh in my ears, but other people tell me that it doesn't come across that way.

Is there any chance that you could practice with Marie? She might be able to tell you if your delivery needs to be worked on.

[diesel-powered.livejournal.com]

This is certainly a difficult predicament. I think it all depends on a) how bad the act was and b) how well (or poorly) this person takes criticism.

Unfortunately, it seems that the people who fuck up the worst are usually the least disposed to take criticism.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think it's something that I'll just let slip by now but remember it 10 years down the road and still hold a grudge.

[twicketface.livejournal.com]

Don't worry - you'll have forgotten all about it.