Why I like my pimples

[twicketface]

As much as I complain (or feel bad) about blemishes, I like them. Not that I want them to stick around, but I think it's a reminder of my reality. With our image-focused culture bombarding us with images of beauty/sex/attraction, at times it can be a bit too much for a person to bear. I remember pouring over my Men's Health issues when I subscribed in high school over the male models with unbelievable bodies and chiseled features. I got caught up in the familiar cycle of feeling motivated to look like them, working out for a few weeks and not seeing a change, getting depressed over this unattainable image. And it would just repeat over and over again. I was petrified of being seen with my shirt off, due to my appearance, due to my failure to reach defined standards of desire. Who would want me if I revealed my overweight status? And that's what it is, a status. In many countries those with a little extra around the middle are celebrated for being able to enjoy life and as a sign of wealth.

A study was done in 1995 that found after spending three minutes looking at models in fashion magazines, 70% of women felt depressed, guilty and shameful. That coupled with the fact that 25% of all college-age women has an eating-disorder sends the message that maybe we're doing incredible amounts of (unnecessary) harm to women. We're assaulting them with the constant message of "!!!IMPROVE YOURSELF OR YOU'LL NEVER BE HAPPY!!!" It's tragic, really.

It took me a long time to be comfortable enough to be naked in front of Marie. To her credit, she's always been supportive and loving towards me, and I know that she loves me for what is buried beneath the stray hairs and flab.

I do my best now to avoid magazines with advertising in them. I don't think that much good comes from reading articles from a magazine that only points out superficial flaws inbetween articles about how to land a man or feel revived, instantly. Magazine articles are only what gets in the way of the ads. Pick up any magazine geared towards women and take a look.

While I do feel obesity is detreminental to the lives of many people, promising quick fixes and impossible beauty standards only compounds the problem.

So, when I look in the mirror and see a zit, it reminds me that I'm a real person. Not airburshed, not only presented in the good light, not one-sided. Just me.

-----
This weekend was nice. Got $100 worth of new clothes for the new job. Three shirts, two ties (just in case), and two pairs of pants. I'll be ordering new shoes soon as well. Gift cards to the rescue. Also, the Packers are dorks. Quick remedy - get a new special teams coach and remove anyone with the first name Tyrone on the roster.

I called and accepted the job offer this morning. Yee haw. I'll be spending a week in Milwaukee for training, probably starting the 20th. Would be nice to get together with jonnyv and maybe Andrea while I'm there. I'd been debating taking a few days between my last day and my first day, but it might be best to just get into it. I'll have a lot to learn and absorb. Luckily, it's the 'down' time for their HR staff since tax season is just starting. I'll have projects to work on as well as just plain learning the company's way of life.

I told my new boss and our AA separately. They were both really happy for me and "pissed" that I was leaving, but in a good way. I'll be missed and that's a nice feeling. Luckily, I won't be going far and will still "do lunch" and keep tabs on them and others. My new boss is going to tell the Big Boss and we'll have some sort of plan on how to transfer 3 years of knowledge to other staff members in 9 days. As I told them, I'll only be a phone call away and want to be there to help with the transition. It's going to be quite weird to no longer be "here", but I think in a good way. I've gotten a little too comfortable and a little too lack. I'm someone who would love to find a job/company and stay there for a long time; hopefully my new job will be just that. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

***I had a dream that Mr. Belding and Zach Morris "had their way" with Marie. It's too disturbing to get into any detail. Damn that show!***

Comments

[milo790.livejournal.com]

the weight thing. I agree with you a thousand times.