My name is Brian
. I was born in 1978 in Hartford, Wisconsin. My mom had a very difficult pregnancy with me. First, I tried to come out too (3 months) early. Then, when it was time for me to be born, I didn't want to come out. Memories of this time are hazy, at best.
 I have one older brother, Brad. He is three years older than me. We speak when we need to which isn't often. We're extremely different people and I'm envious of those who have close sibling relationships.
 I've been married since August 4th of 2001, to the lovely and talented Marie
. We met while in college and dated for three years before tying the knot. Our relationship is the only serious one I've ever had. Married life is quite great and I think that it is entirely due to the fact that we built a friendship first.
 We have two cats, Mitten the Wonder Kitten
and Snowball the IIIrd
. They are both part adorable, part insane. It didn't take long for them to fit in.
 My political leanings are to the left of the Democratic party. I voted for Nader in 2000 and think anyone who blames me for Bush getting into the White House needs to get a grip. Socialism is the form of government that makes the most sense to me, which I guess makes me a terrorist. I begrudgingly voted for Kerry in 2004 to prevent the rest of the Apocylopse. From here on out, I'm only voting for porn stars.
 My degree is in Human Resource Management from the University of Wisconsin - Oshkosh. I have a minor in Sociology. I do believe I am the only person to have attended 4 ½ years of higher education in Wisconsin without taking a drink of alcohol. Please hold your applause until the end.
 On that note, I'm straight edge
. As this is a personal decision, I don't advertise it often. None of my friends are, so don't think I'm one of those
people who dislike you unless you're a carbon copy of themselves. Just don't ask me to hold your hair while you ralph.
 I'm currently working for a Fortune 300 company that mostly sells home and auto insurance. My role is one of a generalist, focusing on recruiting, employee relations and whatever the hell else gets thrown my way. It's a mostly great company to work for and my co-workers are mostly awesome.
 During college, Marie and I donated plasma for extra cash. It's a great place to people watch and also catch up on reading. My brother's ex-fiancee used to work there. If there was a place in Appleton nearby, I wouldn't hesitate to start donating again. It was good money and relatively painless.
 Despite playing violent video games and a childhood obsession with G.I Joe, I'm a pacifist. I think war should always be the absolute last resort. I've never been in a physical altercation. Except for wrestling with my dad. He signified the end of our wrestling matches by blowing ass.
 I don't remember my dreams often, but still remember one I had when I was 8 or 9. I was in a hospital, being wheeled away for a surgery I didn't need. I was terrified. My mom was there, waving and smiling at me as they took me to the operating room. I tried to scream, but no sound came out. It was terrible.
 I'm 6'6". Most of the time I like it, but there are times when I'd rather be 5' 10". Like when I'm buying clothes or sitting anywhere in public. I've come to grips with the fact that I'll likely need knee replacement surgery before I perish. It's mostly a bone-on-bone arrangement.
 Marie and I bought a house
in June of 2003. It's in Appleton (where I grew up). It's a quad-level and is pretty great. We like it a lot better than our apartment, mostly for the attached garage and our own washer/dryer. Plus, it's more room to walk around naked.
 Marie and I are 98% vegetarian. My craving for Chinese food sometimes overwhelm my desire to not eat animals.
 I was raised Catholic, but am now a Unitarian Universalist
(or UU for short). I find the Catholic church too rooted in (nonsensical) tradition and am anti-boy-on-priest action. I also tend to have Buddhist and agnostic leanings (i.e., a Pastafarian
 I used to play piano when I was in grade school and trombone in junior high and high school. Playing the trombone led to meeting Jeremy (eventual college roommate and very polite man) and most of my close friends in high school, so I think it was meant to be.
 Nathan Daniel Murton was born on July 30th, 2006. He was born prematurely and spent three and a half weeks in the hospital before we could bring him home. He's a fantastically-awesome baby and fatherhood is amazing.
 I drive a 2003 Toyota Camry
. I technically borrow from the bank that owns it, but whatever. My previous car, a 1989 Buick LeSabre had 180,000 miles on it and a lot of character (i.e., weird smells). I'll jump on the hybrid bandwagon once they make one with leg room (see also [#12])
 I used to play drums
with my friend Brian, but he no longer uses that practice space. It was a lot of fun - we had two drum kits facing each other and we both played along to CDs with headphones on each. I'm terrible but it was neat. He was a good teacher. I'm sure I lost some hearing as a result.
 I'm good at saving money. Most of my discretionary income goes towards CDs and food. Other than our mortgage and my college loans, I'm debt free. Both are being paid off at more than the minimum payment to expedite financial freedom. I think people make finances out to be this big, impossibly complicated ordeal when it's really not. People just need to learn to live with less. I like Dave Ramsey's approach, minus the Jesus talk.
 I used to listen to the radio on a regular basis for music, but now I only listen to my iPod. Before getting one, I thought it was somewhat foolish. Oh, how wrong I was.
 I used to watch quite a bit of television as well, but have cut back a lot because I find most shows unwatchable.
 I had a beard for about four years. I liked it, but shaved it off in December of 2002. Then, I grew it back in August of 2004. There's no telling what I may do next.
 I consider myself a very open person, but only to those people who show an interest in me. If you repeatedly interupt me while talking, we'll have problems. Conversations should be two sided and you should be as interested in me as I am in you. If not, why are we talking in the first place?
 One of my biggest pet peeves is wasting things. I save scrap paper, pens that have three sentences of ink left, tattered folders - the list goes on and on.
 Tennis is my favorite sport to play. It's about the only one I'm somewhat good at
. I do love watching professional football and despite never watching a game before my senior year of high school, I now follow it like a madman. I've won our fantasy football league for the past two years in a row. This goes to show that obsessive-compulsive disorders can be profitable.
 I'm very close to my grandparents
(on my mom's side). Marie and I try to visit them at least once a month and always learn something from them. They've been married more than 65(!) years. My grandparents on my dad's side are deceased. Given the choice, I'd rather spend time with someone elderly than someone young.
 I'm also close to my parents. I couldn't have asked for a more loving and supportive upbringing. My mom worries all the time and is always putting other people ahead of herself (sometimes, to a fault). My dad had a terrible upbringing, but turned out to be an ideal father. He's extremely handy and taught me how to play cribbage. I talk to them on the phone weekly.
 I hate talking on cell phones. Marie and I parted ways with our landline in January of 2005 and use our cell phones exclusively. This means I'll just email you instead.
 My favorite band of all time is face to face
. I've seen them in concert 4 times and almost was in a head-on collision on a highway (!) coming back from one of their concerts. Someone was driving on the wrong side of the highway towards us. It sucked. As of November 2003, they broke up without consulting me first. Side projects will live on, but I'm still bummed.
 If I couldn't listen to my choice of music at work, I would something something (don't mind if I do!)
 If you understood that last one, it means you realize that The Simpsons is the greatest show in the history of television. It's the only show that I *must* see on a regular basis. And I finally (sadly) admit that it's time to pull the plug on the show. It doesn't pack the punch it once did and I'd rather they stop now and have a finale with the movie. Also, bring back Futurama.
 I've never had surgery or broken a bone in my body. Come to think of it, I've never broken someone else's bone either. But Marie has.
 My internal clock doesn't work very well in the mornings. I'm always tired on workdays but can't prevent myself from getting up before 7:00am on weekends. I'm also very selfish with 'my' time.
 I can listen to multiple conversations at once.
 I'm usually too warm. In high school (in Wisconsin), March meant I could finally start wearing shorts again. I've matured slightly.
 The only Spring Break trip I ever took was after I graduated. My good friends Terry and Brian and I drove to Philadelphia, simply because. It's possible the most fun I've ever had in a car (without Marie). We almost got in a fight coming into Philly, got busted by the cops trying to 'sneak' to New Jersey (not really) and really bonded.
 I was the only one who masturbated on the trip. This is all the more incredible if you know Terry and Brian.
 I'm really good at games (card, board, video) and like to play them often. I think if I got on a game show, I could win a lot of money. Also, I hate Trivial Pursuit.
 I don't like the idea of file-swappers not buying CDs but I do like the thought of the record industry collapsing. If there was a source that I could download b-sides and rare tracks of bands I like, I'd gladly pay for them. However, spending $9 on a single containing an album track, the same album track edited for radio, and said b-side is greedy and insulting. I download music, purchase the stuff I like and trash the stuff I don't. If radio played anything besides Top 40 around here, I'd use that to evaluate new music.
 I have yet to find an anti-perspirant that works for more than two days. I don't smell, I just look like I got done wrestling with a crack-addicted wolverine most days by 10am.
 I used to think that 'Santa Claus' was rich people distributing gifts to everyone, since they had more than they needed. I remember my brother and mother laughing at my theory. I think I've been a socialist ever since. (see also ).
 I was a virgin until the age of 20 (thanks Marie!). I distinctly remember walking to the dorm bathroom with a pronounced strut.
 My favorite piece of clothing is a gray fleece I ordered from J. Crew in college. It was 60 dollars and is the warmest piece of clothing I've ever owned. As a result, it can usually be found on Marie.
 I've been out of the US twice - once on a family road trip to Boston (through Canada) and on our honeymoon to St. Lucia. I don't like flying because I can't get comfortable, physically or mentally. I can't read, can't write and usually get a headache and leg cramps.
 I drink way too much soda. I don't have much willpower when it comes to food.
 Despite brushing twice a day, I have terrible luck at the dentist.
 The combination of mint and chocolate makes me cringe.
 I wear glasses and am relatively blind without them. I didn't get them until I turned 20, which was about 4 years too late. I can now read street signs from the car and identify people from further than 5 feet away. It's done wonders for my social life.
 I thoroughly enjoy playing cards, especially cribbage. Getting together to play poker with the guys is my favorite non-Marie related activity.
 I never used to wash my hands after peeing. Now I do.
 I'm not necessarily 'glad' that Kurt Cobain killed himself, but if he hadn't, there would be no Foo Fighters. That said, I think Dave Grohl
and J. Robbins
are the two most important musicians of my lifetime.
 I'm much more of an idea person than a detail person. Perhaps that's why Marie and I work so well together.
 I maintain the dear_bigfoot
community. It's an advice community and it needs your help.
 Apples are my favorite fruit, closely followed by oranges. For vegetables, it's potatoes and onions (if combined, all the better)
 My taste in music is directly a result of the influence of my friend Jeremy. He gave me (along with his then-girlfriend Thea) face to face's Big Choice CD for my 18th birthday. Despite it being their worst album, it led me to where I am now.
 My favorite magazine is also the results of a friend's influence. While visiting Carrie B in Chicago, I leafed through her copy of UTNE Reader
. I decided to subscribe. Shortly after, I got on the mailing list for The Sun
, my favorite magazine ever. This is the only time in the history of me that one company sharing my address with another company led to something positive.
 I get frustrated and angry when people stay in relationships that are harmful because the alternative is 'being alone'. As someone who's spent the majority of his life alone, I don't understand why so many people are afraid of it.
 George W. Bush is the worst president in the history of the United States.
 Sometimes I feel guilty for being happy. I think the world would be a better place if people realized how good they have it, even when some things aren't going well.
 I am horrendous at geography and directions. Utterly horrendous.
 I applied to be on the Real World: Boston. I'm sure it turned out for the best. I would've liked to make out with Kameelah though...
 I am slowly getting over my bad habit of cracking my knuckles/joints. Slowly.
 I often misplace my wedding ring at home. Marie likes to find it and wear it on her thumb. This drives me nuts.
 I have stitches in two places on my left arm (when I attempted to run outside without properly opening the glass door) and also on my upper lip (from being hit by an ice chunk in grade school).
 My favorite movies are anything that Kevin Smith has done and Planes, Trains and Automobiles.
 My favorite book is The Stand by Stephen King. I've dreamed of that scenario dozens of times when I was growing up.
 The first CD I ever purchased was Waking up the Neighbors by Bryan Adams. I've been apologizing ever since.
 I usually have a piece of food stuck between two teeth in particular. I'm the best flosser ever for about three days after a trip to the dentist. Marie recently got a flosser (looks like a toothbrush but with a flossing head instead) and I use it a lot more.
 My flawless driving record of 9 years came to a halt in July of 2003. Going 70 in a 55 led to being pulled over, but with only a warning. You can't win them all. I also got my first parking ticket on October 26th, 2004 at the library. It was $3 and I was totally at fault. To top it all off, I got my first speeding ticket (going 70 in a 55) in November of 2005 while coming home from a Henry Rollins performance. $160 is a pretty significant wake-up call.
 Jobs I've held since birth are as follows: lawn mower, paperboy, fast food worker, library assistant, computer lab consultant, commission adjuster, benefits intern, human resources intern, human resources assistant, plasma donor, co-chairman of Camp Scholler, human resources specialist, mystery shopper(!), human resources generalist. Also, Doctor Tongue.
 I wanted a crew-cut when I was younger, but my mom said it wouldn't look good on me. I think she was right. Still, I would like to shave my head someday. At the rate my hair grows, I could take a four day weekend and most people probably wouldn't notice.
 I have no piercings or tattoos. And I think I'm going to stay that way, thank you very much.
 I have more brand allegiance to products I avoid than to those I buy.
 I've never been stung by a bee/wasp/hornet.
 My celebrity crushes include Jane Adams, Maura Tierney and Tina Fey. Me-ow.
 My two least favorite foods are gravy and mushrooms. If you want to see me shrivel up and die, throw some mushroom gravy on me.
 I have many foibles. One of them is keeping the receipt for each CD I purchase and putting it under the plastic tray. I started doing this around the age of 16. I'm not sure why.
 I would enjoy working as a counselor in some capacity as a career. I like solving other people's problems.
 I find women who drink regular soda much more attractive than women who drink diet soda.