Sigh

Oct. 22nd, 2001 03:06 pm
twicketface: (Black and White)
I’m listening to WPR and finding myself getting more and more depressed. All of this talk about anthrax (wasn’t the band scary enough?) is starting to get to me. I know that I shouldn’t listen to the news for prolonged periods of time and that most of it is opinionated, right-wing rhetoric in the first place, but I’m starting to get scared. Do I think anything will happen to me? No. But I think of all of the people that have died senselessly since 9/11 and how that both sides are more than ready, willing and able to makes those numbers look pale in comparison to what could be done, and I can’t help but worry.

What sort of world are we living in, in which we can sit by and listen as people commit horrible acts of violence and destruction upon each other in the name of liberty, freedom or otherwise? I cannot justify war in any example and it just seems like so many people are in favor of the destruction of innocent lives as simply collateral damage. Well, that’s enough to make me sick.

Can I secede from the country? I’m just about ready to leave.

Better yet, can we get an effective leader in our country who won’t resort to the most ‘convenient’ course of action when things go wrong?

Can we have peaceful solutions to the world’s problems instead of creating weapons of mass destruction ‘just in case’ we need to go flatten some country?

Can we not realize that what we do on this earth carries over to our next ‘life’ and we will all be held responsible for these atrocities?

Can I just go to sleep?

Fuck, I’m not usually this down and out, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult to remain positive and stay hopeful.

It is now my duty to completely drain you.
twicketface: (Tough Guy)
Please understand that sitting on your fat ass and forwarding pro-American rhetoric via email is not ‘taking a stand’, ‘making your country proud’ or ‘remaining united’. However, it is going against what democracy is all about. Now, more than ever, we need to be a nation of questioners, a nation of doubters and a nation of thinkers. Corporate America (and it’s mass media) only wants rallies of war in order to help the economy. Calling for people who are anti-war or think that there is another solution to ‘love it or leave it’ goes against what our country was founded on. America was built on the supposed principal of freedom. The freedom to think and say whatever we please without fear of censorship or retaliation. I think it’s pretty safe to say that we do not live in that version of America today.

Our supposed bombing to ‘rid the war of terrorism’ so far has only rid Afghanistan of innocent civilians and a few International Red Cross buildings with 1,000-pound bombs (Oops!). All our military does is make mistakes and there are never any repercussions for their actions. And people wonder why foreigners (and Americans) hate American policies and practices. Bin Laden is still at large and even if he is caught, brought to trial and even killed, there will ALWAYS be the ‘next in line’ to attack America, and for good reason.

For all of those in favor of war/bombing, I pose this hypothetical situation to you: Imagine that you rolled God’s dice a little bit differently and are a citizen of Afghanistan. You live in a country where an American-supported militia government (the Taliban) is in power and generally makes life miserable for it’s citizens. You have no reliable sources of water, food, or employment. You are among the most poor in the world. America is attacked and the blame falls solely upon the unelected leader of your country (hey, that sounds familiar, doesn’t it?). America responds by bombing your country in some ‘big balled’ show of strength and liberty, however that works. You are too impoverished to leave and the political system that has been forced upon you gives you no avenue to change your government. Speaking out against it surely would lead to your death, so you have no choice but to keep quiet, suffer and hope that when the military ‘accidentally’ mistakes your village for a terrorist training camp you won’t be one of the slaughtered.

How do you feel about your decision to ‘nuke the towel heads’ now?

I have so much hope and optimism for our country and our future, but when the greedy and stupid get into power, we have no choice but to suffer and get angry. We are so proud at these time to beat our chests and claim that America is the greatest country in the world and proof that democracy works, yet when we have a president who wasn’t truly elected and is the son of a former president, how much more ‘un’democratic can we get?

So yeah, this reads a lot more like a rant than a journal entry, but hey, just something I had on my mind. Fuck bombing. Fuck war. Fuck corporate interests.

More smiles and sunshine to follow.
twicketface: (Default)
So when I was younger, my dad and I enjoyed the process of wrestling with each other. Exercises in showing male dominance of the Murton household took place on a fairly regular basis. Myself, a scrappy, angst-seething teenager against my dad, a middle-aged authority figure with love handles. A match made in heaven.

The wrestling matches usually consisted of both of us attempting to pin the other one in such a manner as to exercise the “Grundy” maneuver, which entailed freeing any articles of clothing that were tucked into the waistband of the pants (undershirts, flannels, etc), thereby freeing the prized underwear band, which could then be hoisted and tugged at until a sufficient amount of underwear was wedged between the opponents ass cheeks and cries of mercy filled the living room. Our pre-match preparations usually consisted of selecting two or more articles of the longest shirts we owned, tucking them in, even into our underwear, and securing the integrity of the tucked in garments with a belt as tight as we could stand it and still be able to breathe.

My dad, eternally being sly and cunning, would often end the match early when, upon the verge of yanking the old man’s BVDs with such force that the waistband would act as a reverse headband, would loudly blow ass and politely exclaim ‘Excuse me’. All too often, these events would occur when he was piled on top of me and I was helpless to the heavy dosage of ‘tear gas’ he was emitting, often passing out for hours at a time because of it.

One match in particular, when I was feeling particularly feisty and ready to go to blows with dad, I was again on the verge of Grundy victory, when my dad called mercy and said he had to go to the bathroom. Being the fair-minded and levelheaded youth the old man raised me to be, I relented and let him loose, all the while banging on the bathroom door to remind him what was in store when he was finished and flexing my non-existent muscles in the hallway mirror.

He emerged, seemingly revitalized and I was ready to strike. Pinning him was remarkably easy and I thought for a moment I felt the power structure in the house shift from him to me, surpassing my brother and electing me Leader of the Murton Household. I later realized that moms are the eternal leaders of every household and there is no force powerful enough to overtake them. But at the time, I was poised for a victory.

Upon the untucking of his long sleeve shirt and the vilifying task of reaching in for the waistband, I was encountered with a feeling of utter horror and fear, like never before.

My dad had removed his underwear while in the bathroom, and I was groping his ass.

His laughter at the time still haunts my subconscious and years of therapy have ceased to result in me leading any semblance of a normal life.

So see, that’s why I’m the way I am.

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